How to Talk to Kids about Conflict, Dignity and Bullying | Gracie PAC MMA
ACCESS OUR SCHEDULE
& BOOK YOUR FREE SESSION🗓️

Secure your spot & get started today with our FREE EXCLUSIVE online offer!

By opting into the web form above you are providing consent for Gracie PAC MMA to send you periodic text messages. Standard rates may apply. You can reply HELP at anytime or learn more. You may opt-out anytime by replying STOP.
ACCESS OUR SCHEDULE
& BOOK YOUR FREE SESSION🗓️

Secure your spot & get started today with our FREE EXCLUSIVE online offer!

By opting into the web form above you are providing consent for Gracie PAC MMA to send you periodic text messages. Standard rates may apply. You can reply HELP at anytime or learn more. You may opt-out anytime by replying STOP.
Maria Vega reviewed Gracie PAC MMA
5
via Facebook

My wife and I were looking for a friendly, family oriented MMA classes for our son (10) and daughter (12). They love martial arts and have been doing it for years, in an after school program (TKD). Well, after looking around, we joined Gracie PAC MMA. Let me tell you, this place is perfect. Their staff and coaches are incredible; friendly, helpful, knowledgeable and experience on everything MMA. Professor Cris Rodriguez is great with kids, amazing teacher. We are extremely happy with Gracie MMA, their staff is great, they are very organize and their curriculum (bjj, muay thai, kick boxing, etc....) has everything we were looking for. Great place for the entire family.

Tiffany Teal Montague Simmons reviewed Gracie PAC MMA
5
via Facebook

Come train with the BEST! This is NOT your normal after school karate class. We were amazed at the amount of technique even the youngest students pick up after just a few classes. Coach Cris is awesome with the kids. She expects more then just good fighting from them. She stays involved with how they are doing in school and at home, giving her students the incentive to be the best at everything they do.

Dana Fields reviewed Gracie PAC MMA
5
via Facebook

I have been looking for a great exercise program to get involved in and finally found it here. I have learned so much in the two months I have been here and can't wait to continue to get stronger. Love This place!! Coach Cris is the best at making me not want to give up.

DorothyandMark Winter reviewed Gracie PAC MMA
5
via Facebook

PAC MMA is fitness for the whole family. Kids programs, adult classes and even the best woman's fitness and self defense around, this is the place to go. Make your family a part of the PAC family.

Amanda Fletcher Moyer reviewed Gracie PAC MMA
5
via Facebook

Best place ever! My daughter attends the after school program there and she loves it. I just started taking the kickboxing class & it's the best class I have ever taken. Everyone there is awesome.

Gina Lopez Fernandez reviewed Gracie PAC MMA
5
via Facebook

I can't say enough about how much I love this place! My son is learning so much and he LOVES going to class. There's something so rewarding in watching your child learn and grow so quickly :) Coach Chris, Coach Dan and Coach Rich have all been amazing! I couldn't ask for a better environment for my son. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and so much of yourself - we truly appreciate it!

Erica Ramirez reviewed Gracie PAC MMA
5
via Facebook

Heard thru word of mouth. Then checked it out and noticed great character in their students and the attentive staff. The coach had noticeable rapport with the kids in the class. My daughter loved it. She can't wait to get back. She even cleaned her room! Huge plus.

Dan Martinez reviewed Gracie PAC MMA
5
via Facebook

Gracie PAC MMA has been one of, if not the best, mixed martial arts gym I have been a part of. The kids program/instruction is second to none, and offers world class BJJ instruction for adults as well as one of the most promising striking programs in the US, Bang Muay Thai. Countless kids and adults have competed at the highest level under the GPAC banner, with even more discovering what martial arts can do for them. Whether you want to compete or get in great shape, this facility has the program for you

Nicole Dunn reviewed Gracie PAC MMA
5
via Facebook

Our family has been coming to Gracie PAC Tampa for nearly two years. We began sending our son first. Our main goals were for him to experience the physical and mental benefits derived from regular physical exercise. Instantly we realized how special this place is, and how amazing Coach Cris is with the kids, as well as adults. She is fair but firm, and as she commands respect, she encourages these kids to rise to their full potential, also providing valuable discussions on character, sportsmanship, and leadership, as part of her curriculum.

My husband takes some of the adult jiu jitsu and kickboxing classes, from which he has benefitted greatly, and I truly enjoy being a member of the ladies' bootcamp group. These ladies represent a wide range of fitness levels and ages. Each class, we all get together to kick butt, do our best, and encourage each other in a true team environment. I never leave this class disappointed.
Gracie PAC Tampa MMA - best place EVER for your anyone in your family to train at.

Lynzie Johnston reviewed Gracie PAC MMA
5
via Facebook

Well it's about time I write a review! My boys joined Gracie PAC as little Ninjas about 4 months ago. They absolutely love it! Professor Cris is an amazing teacher! She's very enthusiastic about teaching and she is very patient. My boys love going to class. They are 4 &7 . They never want to miss a class. They have learned so much and continue to learn with each class. They love earning strips on their belt. This is a really great positive atmosphere for kids and families. I'm very satisfied with our experience.

Jesse James Maldonado reviewed Gracie PAC MMA
5
via Facebook

I took Jiu Jitsu a few years back at another facility and decided to give this one a try. I took my first lesson last night and could not believe the content. Very structured and professional. Easy to learn and everyone was eager to assist me being the new guy. Other places teach you a couple of moves. Each involving many steps and you still won't understand it. Garcia PAC teaches you a technique and teaches you other techniques that involve some of the same steps. It made me confident that if I try something and am not able to secure the submission, then I can roll into another technique just as easy and It gives you options and makes you think. I liked that approach rather than what I was given in the past. A+ school and is 100% legit. I am confident this time around I will take it all the way with my training. When you find a place like this you take advantage of the opportunity to train there.

Meghann Thacker reviewed Gracie PAC MMA
5
via Facebook

We love it at Gracie PAC! They focus on fitness, strength, form, and most importantly they work hard every lesson to help teach my children how to effectively defend themselves against bullies and other attacks. It's easy to see this group of educators clearly loves kids and have a passion for sharing their vast knowledge with their students! Best MMA in the Bay for kids!

Chandra Ahrendt reviewed Gracie PAC MMA
5
via Facebook

I took my first class tonight. As soon as you enter, you are greeted by smiling faces who are just as excited to have you there as you are to be there. The coaches there were phenomenal. They were so incredibly encouraging and patient, it was a breeze picking it up because there was no pressure. Great job at creating such an inviting atmosphere.

Gracie PAC MMA Tampa Martial Arts & Fitness for All Ages!
Call us today to get started 813-244-1293
Request Information

Blog

Our latest news & thoughts

How to Talk to Kids about Conflict, Dignity and Bullying

Today we are discussing how to talk to kids about treating each other with dignity and respect. What are the cultural messages that our kids receive? Are their differences between how boys deal with their relationships and girls cope with their relationships? How do kids bond and what do betrayals look like? How do we talk to other parents when our child has been an instigator of aggressive or bullying behavior and their child is the target AND how do we talk to the other parents when our child has been on the receiving end of aggressive or bullying behavior from their child. These are complicated questions and relationships.

Important Messages:

  • Young people don’t want to talk about bullying—and often find it unrelatable.
  • BoyWorld vs GirlWorld. Rules they learn about what is expected of us. They think differently about this culture. Boys and girls are not a monolithic group. Cultural message “girls are hard” and “boys are easy.” But if, as a boy, you have a complicated relationships or are reactive to something going on, then there’s a stereotype that there is something wrong with you. We are saying to boys, roll everything off your back.
  • Make sure to widen your expectations of responses from boys (emotionally, etc) and stop putting girls’ relationships in a box and labeling them as “mean” or “complicated” as a rule.
  • Group of boys on a couch- gaming- this might not look as close—but this is tight! And they can have complicated relationships and close relationships.
  • If a boy doesn’t want to talk to you about something- it might not mean that it’s not bothering him but rather that he doesn’t want to talk about something that is painful for him.
  • Don’t emasculate a boy when he is emotional- they are not being “girly” when showing a complex feeling—and then we are surprised that they don’t want to talk to us! Bad stuff is happening as they get older and they don’t have the words to speak out because we didn’t talk about this stuff when they were younger.
  • The boys explode- and we think there is something pathologically wrong- but we just haven’t given them the skills and we have cut them off or belittled them when the feeling wasn’t as intense or overt.
  • Help your kids, don’t take over.
  • Aggression, relationships and kids: “We have to understand the context in which these things are happening. Because if we want the chance to actually address the problem so young people can learn from it then we have to have an understanding, as best we can, of what happened that created the dynamic. In know it does happen that kids go after another kid for “no reason,” I get that, but in my experience, the vast majority of times when I’ m dealing with kids, there’s at least some stuff going both ways.”
  • Boys: Boys have friendships that mean something to them. When boys express their anger, a lot of time they are sitting on their feelings and bottle it up, then lash out and get out of control. We haven’t given them the skills (or we have dismissed their feelings or made boys feel that they shouldn’t express them) to deal with these feelings before they get so frustrated or upset that they can no longer keep these feelings inside. Then we judge their actions when they explode.
  • Girls: When we send the message to girls that girls are mean and the relationships are negative and full of drama, we set this message as the standard.
  • Script when your child is involved in a problem with other kids: Email or text “Hey, I’ve got something that I think you would think is important to talk about – I think it’s important too- when is a good time to talk today or tomorrow?” Don’t go into a long email. Professional, mature email. Don’t explode on them.
  • In prep for that: Three most important things for them to know. Don’t send it as an email—that’s not what it’s for. “What are the top 3 things I need to communicate in this conversation no matter what happens?”
  • Script when talking directly to the person: “I have this thing that’s a little uncomfortable for me to talk about but I thought it was important for you to know.”
  • Just because it’s happening all the time, if it’s demeaning or degrading, then it’s still not right.
  • Remember: Say exactly what you don’t like, and exactly what you want. Add how you are disciplining your child if s/he is part of it.
  • End script: “Think about it, if you want to talk about it further, I’m around…”
  • Communicate: Here are my standards, here are my values, here is the discipline. “Here are the rules, here is 
  • the rule I perceive was broken, and here is how I am disciplining the situation.” “I love all of our kids, yay kids, here’s my cell if you want to talk further.”
  • Script when your child is on the receiving end of aggression: “It is possible that my child contributed to this problem in some way. Or perhaps there is something I don’t know about this situation that would help me understand what’s going on.” And you might not know!
  • We tend to see this bullying stuff as so “one way.” Often there are two sides contributing. Rosalind tells a story of a girl being nasty to a group of girls for an extended period of time. The group of girls retaliate in a horrible way—and they are at fault- but there is more than just this one side involved here. There is at least some stuff going both ways.
  • With text or email- stick to who, what, where and when—if you need to get into “why” you are going down the wrong path!
  • Nobody wants to hear the laundry list. When approaching another parent about bullying, drama or aggression: Pick one or two things or a pattern of behaviors rather than a laundry list of ways the other person’s child is being a brat.
  • Avoid the laundry list AND avoid saying “and all the other parents feel like this too” even if you feel that you are not being believed or need more ammunition. Makes people freak out. And then they ask who. No way to win. No way to get closer to the goal of being heard.
  • Convo with kids: “People are going to annoy you. People are going to abuse their power. That’s just a fact. The goal for you is to be able to navigate that so that it doesn’t take over your feelings or you lose your words or you don’t have choices in your friendships. Your job is to learn how to manage that. That doesn’t happen over night. And it’s also about being able to have adults help you but not do the work for you.” Separate the difference between drama and bullying.
  • Bullying: Going after somebody for what they are or what they are perceived to be or how they identify.
  • Drama: Conflict, going both ways, and people think it’s entertaining. It can still be painful. Just because it’s not bullying doesn’t mean it’s not painful. Like not being included on an IG post- not bullying. Not invited to birthday party- drama or rejection. But not bullying.
  • Convo: I can’t get you down from 100% misery to 0% misery overnight but I can get you from 100% misery to maybe 96% misery- and that’s better. Going in the right direction. Builds confidence and shows you can handle it. Also shows that people who are making you miserable don’t have mythological power.
  • Parents have their own reality show moments.
  • The way adults are managing social media has a profound effect on how kids manage and understand social media. Use, over-use, branding, authenticity– Watch the hypocrisy!
  • Kids look at us being on the phone and while we think our work is really important, they think their social life is really important.
  • Look at what you are posting—all beautiful, perfect and get amazing comments. Getting attention. Then the girls might try to do all that. Trying to create a PR campaign?  Also, don’t be boring- don’t only post about your children! Also, don’t bully others online- that’s a terrible example!
  • Give yourself a break, give other people a break before judging and assuming other people’s bad intentions. Ask a question before assuming the worst about people. People make mistakes. Assuming that someone is stupid or have nothing to stand on- creates toxicity. Includes how we think about ourselves.

From the blog of Dr. Robyn Silverman.

https://drrobynsilverman.com/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-conflict-dignity-and-bullying-with-rosalind-wiseman/